Most New Year’s Resolutions I have made in the past have been about changing myself. They could be changing my appearance, like losing weight or taking better care of my skin. Others have been about making more money or saving more money in the hopes of feeling a certain way. Some have been about exercising more, doing more meditation, or reading more books. But this year I am going to try something different.
So, I’ve got a theory. A theory that I am ready to test out. My theory is that my mind is more powerful than my body. You see, my whole life I’ve worked to try to fix my body, trying to do things to it to make it better, to change it. For as long as I can remember, I have fought with my body. Today I’ve decided to surrender.
When I was about 13 years old, I was diagnosed with narcolepsy. It was a diagnosis that my parents and I had been searching for over a number of years to explain the insurmountable sleepiness and lack of energy I was experiencing. I took that diagnosis and wrapped it around me like a security blanket. It was the explanation for why I felt so awful, and it became my identity. Continue reading “Breaking up with Keto”
Sharing a plate of fried watercress, a heaping dish of tea leaf salad, and a bowl of eggplant curry, I found myself saying more about my chronic illness than I ever expected to disclose on a first encounter. I heard myself explaining things my body does in words I had never strung together verbally before. Maybe it was the second glass of wine, or maybe it was the humid air, the colorful Myanmar decor, and the attentive listener on the other side of the able. He seemed genuinely interested in how a person with narcolepsy had come to travel as a lifestyle choice.
One night around age eight, I was lying in bed thinking of the fun I had had that day with my family. I opened my eyes slowly to see a huge, hairy, manlike monster hovering above me on the ceiling. His appendages stuck to the plaster effortlessly, like a giant spider, and I could see his gigantic teeth waiting to sink into my flesh. I was completely paralyzed. So much that I couldn’t even scream. I lay there on my Care Bear sheets, trapped in my own body, unable to even clench my fists, or turn my head away from the terrifying sight above me. He dropped onto my chest, and I could feel the enormous pressure of his weight. The next thing I knew, it was morning.
Digital Nomad. It’s a label I’m not exactly fond of as it generally calls up images of social media influencers, relaxing on the beach, posting pictures that make everyone jealous. While I do enjoy sharing my travel experiences, I am not quite on that level. I am an English teacher who just happens to work online and use that advantage to travel as much as possible. But how did I get here? Was it a choice or am I really a hobo? Continue reading “How Narcolepsy Lead me to be a Digital Nomad”
I believe I have tried almost everything available to treat narcolepsy. Like anyone, I have a strong desire to feel better. Like many people with narcolepsy, I am not lazy, I am actually overly ambitious and often do more than my body can handle and later face the consequences. I think I have worked pretty hard to feel as good as I feel now, but I always desire to feel better. Continue reading “The Most Elusive Drug for Narcolepsy”